My weeks have been exhausting lately. Work has been a lot, I've been putting in some terribly long hours, and I spend most nights wishing I had the energy to do something creative, but failing utterly. Instead, I sit in a kind of numb shock, occasionally managing to progress in one of the books I've been reading, but mostly occupying that static void of anxious fatigue, unable to decompress before the cycle starts again the next day.
One day this week, to my great pride and mild astonishment, I was able to break this cycle a little bit. I left work early, and went to a retirement party for a colleague whose tenure was old enough to vote.
I do not consider myself a party person, but this party was wonderful. It was heartwarming. Many current and former colleagues came out for the retiree. Her team members were so sweet and kind in their interactions. Some people say that you should not confuse work with family, but this group acted like they were a family. There was a lot of hugging, and even some tears. It was a good vibe that I haven't been getting enough of lately.
As a remote worker since the pandemic, it was so meaningful to have some sustained interaction with some of my favorite people from back in the office days. It was rather amazing to bump into someone that I have not seen in over 6 years, and slide right back into the same kind of friendly banter that used to happen in our office kitchen. And this happened to me a few times that evening. I've missed it so much.
Retirement parties are always bittersweet. Everyone is so happy for the one that made it out, but is at the same time reminded that their own exit is likely to be far in the future. With increasing frequency, I think longingly of my own retirement, perhaps not from employment entirely, but from the corporate world that I've become so increasingly disenchanted with. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to have a retirement party like the one I went to this week: a joyful sendoff from the friends that I've made along the way.
~nullish
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